SPILL

28 July 2009 @ 02:28 am

I can't express what i'm feeling now.
I'm so sick and tired of you
you are so despicable that i can just crush you while walking that i wun even feel it
you dun deserve respect because u are childish

I've decided to temporarily close this down..
maybe permanently i dunno

i'll make my last post here a happy one.

bawling my eyes out.

the picnic was a day of celebration.
a day i will never forget 25/07/09

pardon me if whatever i'm gonna type out

you know how sometimes some ppl can just impact your life in so many ways.
i won't hide what i feel now.
not now.. i just want to let the whole world know.
know how much i love them
i can give up anything for them.. i mean anything, love, happiness, life even.
i don't know how to explain such a feeling.
they've surpassed the mark of friends, and i just have no word to describe.

my heartaches at the situation now, my breathing is hard and slow
my brain is full of anger and hatred
but i still am clear that i love u both.
the moment pain is inflicted on either of you, i feel it doubled on me for knowing i couldn't prevent if from happening.
i can't erase the fact that it happened,
i can't deny how much it pains me,
i can't deny how i feel like just asking anyone to just lessen the troubles of you all and just give it all to me.

call it selfish, but i love you both too much
so much that i cannot lose either
so much that i can't see us otherwise

my 2 buddies.. i can't imagine a life now without you 2..
call me selfish but i cannot let you both ever walk out of my life.
the moment you guys managed to walk into my heart, i closed the exit.
i feel so worthless even though i known that you wouldn't do that in front of us.
have i not been good enough a friend?
have i not done anything that i needed to?
have i missed out ?

My shoulder can be your pillar of strength only if u do realize that you can turn to me when you feel yourself collasping
i'm stronger than you think my friend..

ALL that i'm thinking of is that have i been not good enough a friend?
why was i so stupid?
why is it that you won't think of us strong enough to see you in this state?
why? why? and more whys?

but i love you guys too much that words can't express it.
i got your back.. when u want to see me worthy to handle the tears i'm here like how i always have.
"one thing in this world which bella is thankful for, is that she was blessed with this"

this site is officially dead..

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21 July 2009 @ 09:59 am

EXAM draws nearer

Can't wait for PICNIC this saturday!! =)

Working with dear ones next saturday for a open-air movie screening

I need relax time all the deadlines of projects so close is strangulating me.

Okay back to business
Omg late for 1st lecture not a good start for the day
nevermind since lectures are the most slack lessons ever so tuesdays are actually good
bahh

OHYA OHYA...some stupid indian man came and talk to me whilst i was waiting for the arrival of my train yesterday...gross.
i think he was blind or something ..LIKE HELLO!!! he talked to me on my right when my ear-piece was plugged in on my right ear and i was playing psp...
and i am highly confident that my face showed that i was not the least bit intersted or happy to continue the conversation..blind

1st lecture ending soon =) haha time for lunch!!! food food food here i come!!!

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20 July 2009 @ 01:27 am

news news news

hahaha today was fun at work man..

anyways after today it got me thinking.
everyone has to learn to accept others for who they are.
because i expect that out of others too.

anyway.expect the unexpected.

never say never

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19 July 2009 @ 03:20 am

(no subject)

BACK from 2 late nights at fiza's place..

if only i could stay over..cos i know i need a break soon,
i know my limit is drawing nearer.

"sustainability = 6 syllabus" bahahahahhaa

oh god, what is with women hitting the big FIVE..
bcos the "queen" at home is driving me mad dammit

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17 July 2009 @ 01:24 am

SPEECHLESS

i'M OFFICIALLY....dumbfounded

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15 July 2009 @ 03:13 pm

(no subject)

assignments are driving me crazy.
on a wed morning which was like 6 hours ago i travelled to chinese gardens..
so unbelievable.. but lucky we managed to rush everything out.
the filming was all super duper rush.

to add on a lighter note..we're glad you are better than u were. =)

i wanna go l4d but i have work..gosh how life is just unfair

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14 July 2009 @ 10:16 am

(no subject)

MY PHONE IS SPOILED I WANNA CRY

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09 July 2009 @ 02:48 am

peaceful

she looked peaceful when we passed.
thats the most comforting thing of this ordeal.

well just came back.
it pained us all terribly so much so we walked away when we were all on the verge of breaking.
but keeping in mind to stay strong was what made us turn to walk away.
you look awfully tired
physically and mentally drained.
this worries us badly like a stone weighing us down, knowing that if this keeps up you may collapse
but knowing that this is your journey to send her off i'm pretty sure you'll stay strong
at least seeing you helped us get a load off our mind
cos i doubt anyone wanted to bother you at the begining.

my dear friend, our deepest condolences for your lost.
but we'll still remain as pillars that you can turn to anytime when you need support.

more hectic-ness tomorrow

i hope and pray that there will be a pot of gold at the end of this tormenting hurricane...

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07 July 2009 @ 01:19 am

tears for a different cause

Well this past week has been eventful
with a fair share of tears and laughter and smiles and frowns.

i turn back to see and i'm glad that i'm surrounded by friends who i feel so really care.
the feeling may be wrong, but i hope its not.
Because, those are the exact ppl who i really do care for.

Hanging out with my buddies and all has really lightened up the sorrowful mood,
the mood we've all been sharing of late.
when we al talked and started saying about how we were about to cry,
i just thought back and remembered what gf told me about having to stay strong.
bout how we can't be there for someone if we ain't strong.
so we have to be strong even if seeing such a sight is very painful for all of us.

i can't say i've been in your position,
but i can say i have someone whom i treasure deeply,
i can say that i was nearly close to losing her,
exactly in the hospital..
i cannot say that i feel how u feel cos i don't know what is going through you now.
but i will say that we are all behind you,
we will be there for you if u just turn back to look.
we are here to be there for you when you are ready to turn to us.
so please in the mean time, take care.
we are all praying vigilantly for you.

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04 July 2009 @ 04:20 am

when it all falls apart

you know what..
i thought it was impossble for the 3 of us to be the same.
fate works in miraculous ways i must agree.
you just cleared my doubts even though i din mention having any.
your words mean the world, i mean it.
i love u my baby edward
i love you girlfriend.
i love you my buddies.
"I treasure you guys more" -buddy

you just made my day dear one..

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